On Columbus Day

"There's so many holidays we celebrate every year that mean nothing. Like Columbus Day. Nobody celebrates Columbus Day, nobody puts like three ships in their front yard. First of all, Columbus discovered the West Indies. Second of all, the land he discovered had occupants on it. That's kinda like discovering somebody's back yard. So when you think about it real hard, all Columbus did was discover a West Indian back yard. He got there with his little flag and said 'I claim this land for Spain.' And the West Indians are like, 'Hey, Mon, get your damn flag off me yard now. Move it now!'" -Chris Rock, in a commentary segment from Weekend Update from season 17, episode 11 on January 18, 1992.